August – It’s OK to say “No”


I trust you are well and for those with children I hope you are enjoying the Summer holidays, the occasional lay in and not to have to worry about the school run!

As we begin to venture out more from Covid restrictions and a very difficult year, many people are experiencing feelings they have not had before, or feelings have returned in a more severe way than ever before. Some are deciding to get fit and healthy, re-assess how they want to be, what they want to do whatever that might look like.

I was really pleased to help a client give up his 40 year smoking habit who recently survived two heart attacks.  He has decided to live life to the full, addressing eating habits, getting some exercise in order to grasp life with both hands and live every moment to the full.  Life is too short for regrets so live for the moment.  I was proud to be a part of his journey.

With this in mind it made me think and ask the following:

  • Do you want to take back control?
  • Do you need to feel ok with saying NO?
  • Do you need to rebuild those personal boundaries?
  • Are you allowing other people to live your life for you?

Do you put everyone else needs before your own because you think that everyone else’s needs are more important than yours? Do you say “Yes” as a habit because you need to feel needed?  Are you yearning for validation and approval from others?  Do you think other people will think you are lazy, uncaring, or selfish if you don’t say yes to their needs? Do you think that your friends, family and/or colleagues will dislike you if you say no to their requests?

Your reasonable needs are exactly equal to everyone else, and therefore giving your power away to others allows unscrupulous people the opportunity to exploit your good nature and to totally disregard and disrespect your needs.   Some may try and manipulate, flatter or coax you into saying ‘yes’ to them.

Give yourself thinking time, tell them you will think about what they have asked you and will get back to them.   If you truly do not want to do something, say no, you do not have to explain or excuse yourself, or apologise.   Respectful people will accept that you are unable to what they have asked you.

The benefits to you are that you will have put clear boundaries in place, and your self-worth, self-esteem and free time will increase.   You will no longer be normalising the abnormal, accepting the unacceptable and excusing the inexcusable. You will no longer be imprisoning yourself in the needs of others and ignoring your own needs. You will also learn to ask for what you need and ensure that you are treated with dignity and respect.  If you have been a people pleaser all your life you may need help to stop this automatic process.

Hypnotherapy will encourage and help you to make choices which best serve you instead of feeling that you ‘must’, ‘should’, ‘ought’ to put everyone else first. You are important and you need to look after yourself, you are number one.

Solution Focused Hypnotherapy combines hypnosis and Psychotherapy. Unlike other talking therapies we do not focus on the issue, instead we give you the tools to be able to move forward so you can achieve whatever you want to achieve. Hypnosis creates a state of relaxation which enables us to access the subconscious mind – this is where the magic happens inside our brains.

Using hypnotherapy, we can gently and effectively teach you to relax and move out of the stress, worry and anxiety response, activating the parasympathetic nervous system to return you to a state of balance in body and mind. We can also make sure you are focusing on the positives in life, and therefore thinking in a much more constructive and helpful way. With repetition and practice, positive thinking will become a habit as we work to literally rewire your brain with new, more helpful habits. With positive thinking, you create calm, sensible assessments, rather than emotional stressful reactions. We also work to build up your confidence so that you know you are able to deal with whatever life has in store.

If you would like to find out more about what hypnotherapy can help with, please visit

Have a lovely Summer, take care of yourselves and feel free to share the newsletter far and wide,

Best wishes, Louise